"Manny" Women FIGHT

        As some may know, Manny Pacquiao unfortunately lost to winner: Juan Manuel Marquez and was knocked unconscious in the final round. Someone on Youtube had commented that it really pissed him off seeing Manny's wife, Jinkee Pacquiao, crying over her husband who had been knocked out cold and that she probably doesn't cry when her husband does the same to his other opponets such as Hatton. I replied to this user telling him not assume one's reaction. I told him, on behalf of many Filipinos, the condition of Hatton laying unconscious  on the mat, scared us all. I said that we of course cheer on the winner, but not necessarily the one who is defeated. Having someone lying still on the boxing ring, doesn't necessarily make our day. It concerns supporters of both sides.

Shortly after, someone had responded:

Moose Head: "Nice of you to say that...this is why women stay home during wars...lol...Pac is gonna be fine..."

>>In response to your comment on the reply I made to Pacquiao's condition:

What do you mean, "This is why women stay home during war?" What is that suppose to mean? How can you give such a false statement? Did you not know that there are several women today who are enlisted in the Armed Forces, who fight alongside men everyday? Who risk their lives and are put up to the same standards as male counterparts. Anti-Feminism thoughts such as yours have obviously been tainted.

Do not let history confuse you "Moose Head", Pre-Colonial Philippines put Filipina women into equal power as Filipino men. They held the same responsibilities as the other warrior tribal chieftains. Gabriela Silang, was in fact, a Filipina WOMAN who LEAD many revolts against the Spaniards and rallied thousands of warriors in leading the Philippines to independence. Women EVERYWHERE today continue to lead their own families in fighting spirit.

So please, next time you accuse women of "staying home during the war", look into your own history and question why women are so belittled. The answer will have a lot to do with imperial and colonial mentality such as your own.

It surprises me that there are still people, such as yourself, who do not regard (Filipina and Non-Filipina) women as STRONG AND POWERFUL. Take it from me: WE ARE STRONG. WE FIGHT SO MANY DAILY STRUGGLES, MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. Everyday is a war, everyday is a fight, and it is because we have to overcome obstacles and people such as yourself, who continue to look down upon women.

Sir, we do not stay home. We FIGHT.

turn back the araw

The other day, I found out that my Dad went to the doctors last month because he complained that it has been hard for him to walk on the foot that he got surgery on years ago.

The other morning before my exam, I had the chance to eat breakfast with my parents for the first time in months. Something I rarely get to do. My Mom made fun of the way my Dad combed his hair as we ate pandesal and I noticed that my Dad's incredible WillSmithNonAgingPowers didn't stop his head from starting to bald. I never really noticed until now.

Today, both my parents checked into a clinic after being food poisoned from last night and now they're in bed holding on to their stomachs. They're hourly visits to the bathroom of hearing them vomit...it's hard to concentrate. It pains me to see my parents in pain and to realize they are getting older. 

It hurts that I am always at school and never at home these days. I try and do my best to make time for friends, loved ones, even family. It feels like I never have time to spend time...I guess I'm finding it hard to balance all my priorities a midst planning a school production, studying for exams, writing weekly papers and essays. This semester is demanding so much of me. So much of my time. I wish I can click pause. 

I realized that time shows no mercy and that it will stop for no one. It will keep going no matter what...

but I forget. I forget to do the laundry, to vacuum, to cook rice. I forget that I'm getting older, and so are my parents. I forget that the time I should be spending, should be with the ones whom I love most. But time does not permit me. Because I have already been drafted to allocate my time somewhere else. I see posts of people going out, hanging out. Watching movies on Sunday nights. Having more than one day to study for a test. I wish I can get a head start; time is just never on my side though.

If anything, I wish it could rewind itself and replay the best memories, over and over again. Turn back time. Change nothing that'll effect the future. Just indulge in the moments where I was so carefree. My parents so young. No exams to study for late night, early morning. I wish I can click pause. Just for a second to take a breath. To take a step back.

I feel like I'm running out of time these days. Do you?

auburn in autumn

Please check out my amazingly talented boyfriend's devianart work! Here is his latest one:

Sansa Stark of Winterfell, from Song of Ice and Fire by IMDSound

P.S. Winter is coming....

brrrr!

I love this kind of weather. The kind that has you waking up to the smell of fresh rain outside your window. I love the weather. I get to go to bed wrapped up in blankets. It's cuddle-with-your-blanket weather, or as my friend says "burrito-weather"! I have a long and productive day today. Wish me focus!

dope

Wanna see how dopey I can get? Check out how awkward my face looks in this picture we took at our Executive Board photoshoot: 

Pixie-Cut

It amazes me at how, years after years, my hair is still crazy as ever. Sigh* I'm not very photogenic. I gotta try something new. All my life, I have always had short hair. I get to that awkward phase where my hair reaches my shoulders and I don't know whether to cut it or grow it out. Well, yeah. I usually cut it extremely short. Like pixie-hair short. Ugh, I look so gross now..I don't know what to do with my hair. 
Should I grow it out for once in my life? What do you think? At the moment, my hair is up to my shoulders...agh, entering awkward phase for the 23740382349th time in my life in

3...2...1... boom. AWKWARD.

As weird as it sounds, I actually like how dopey I look in my officer picture. I think of it as something I'll back on and remember how many memories went behind taking that picture. The whole Board of officers laughing, singing Tagalog songs on the Karaoke machine, Kingsley standing on a chair so high, his hair was practically brushing the fan (that was circulating at the time this photo was being shot, mind you) haha. Oh, this year is gonna be funnn!

a crispity-crunchity dive

I must admit, this mocha cookie crunch is pretty yummy-in-my-tummy! I usually don't like getting anything from Starbucks due to their overpriced coffee and my fear of becoming addicted..but I can see why people come here all the time. I'm currently at a Starbucks..doing work! Who knew? Ahaha, I'm 35min away from home and I just met with one of my scriptwriters who has officially welcomed himself on board!!!!! Gawd. I am so blessed to have him and my Ate Jen helping me too. She was a..[ahh, sun is burning my bicep] past coordinator and it makes me comfortable when I see exactly how much fun she's had with her own production. She's become a stronger person because of it and I can only hope that I will grow from this year. Who knows what this new position will entail, but something is telling me that I will definitely be a different person after the year is over. I'm scared. I'm frightened..but I'm looking forward to it!

Aja! Aja! Fighting!

Here goes everything!

GUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRL

My favorite episode of Fish Hooks ^__^ Am I the only one who still watches cartoons these days? Shellsea at 2:34 is too funny!

My other favorite characters aside from Shellsea would be: Oscar, Clamantha, and Koi. Too funny!

Koi in her natural habitat haha x)

mag-adventure tayo!

ANONG ORAS NGAYONNNN??

Okay, Okay..I told myself that I would buckle down and get some work done but I got distracted ;_____; I mean how can I not share how amazing my Bebeh is? He quickly whipped this up for me today and it is beyond awesome!

"Smells Like Red" Marceline of Adventure Time by IMDSound

Come on..I mean how can you say no to that?? This was meant for sharing!

"I will not get distracted! Nuh, No, Mm-mm, nao, noh, noo!" hehe

Elepante

le continued....

Anyway, fast forward to present time: I decided that I would draw him something simple and elegant. One creature that fascinated me in particular was the graceful: Elephant! After I found a picture of an elephant, I was determined to sketch it out on a white tapered board:

Step 1) Scaling the Elephant

 Step 2) Sketching and Water Color

Step 3) Glitterfy the shitake mushrooms out of it!

"An elephant never forgets."

This is my version of an Indian Elephant that would usually be lavished in jems, jewels and powdered colors for celebrations or weddings. 

Media used:

• BASE: Pencil (Sketch); Yellow/Orange/Red/Purple Water Colors
• LAYERS: Glitter Glue, Confetti, Metallic Maple/Fall Leaves, Stickers and my very own Childhood Jems
• OUTLINE: Permanent Pen/Black Sharpie and Newspaper clippings (p.s. try and look for my name in the newspaper!)
  
  
  I love you Bebeh.

Mame-shibaaa!

Since I have an artist as a boyfriend, I decided I'd have a take on a couple different use of media that my Totoro wallet could offer...

Mame-shibbbaaaaa!

While my boyfriend was away back home in Okinawa earlier this warm summer, I tried to think of what to get him. Frustrated by hours of attempting to think of what to get for him, I thought I'd try creating something for a change. He has inspired me since the day I started to get to know him better. Little did I know that he was extremely talented...with his hands! ;D

I was in disbelief the first time I was in his apartment, when his best friend/room mate, Gerry let me flip through one of his sketch books. He wasn't home during  those first two hours I was there. Yet, I was so amazed by this person, who I barely even knew at the time, but was able to produce these incredible sketches of what seemed to consist of mostly women. They all had unique characteristics with a sort of anime-like style. Since then, I became interested in him more and more. Later when he arrived home, he came in the room only to find me, Gerry and my friend Kim watching Mame-shiba! Unfortunately, he thought we were all high. Oh wait, no. That was Kilo.  -____-

korra

as if my boyfriend wasn't amazing enough already, he goes and draws this:

Book One: Air of Legend of Korra by IMDSound of House Fugrad

If you enjoy this piece, you should check out his other art work:
  http://www.imdsound.deviantart.com/  
He goes by 'IMDSound' aka my talented boyfriend hehe
♥

He sorta makes me wanna check out Avatar: The Legend of Korra now~
...or I'll "LOTR" it and wait 5 years from now when the hype's over. Legolas 'til I die muthatruckas!

soooobrang mainit sa loob

Yayy, my Mom is finally letting us use the AC in our house! This was me everyday for the past two weeks leading up to today's use of air conditioning. Dammmmmm fans:

a fan blowing hot air into my hot face

chuggin' on!

*major-sigh*  yet another unsuccessful day~ I should be getting ready for my friend's Aamel going away party but I had originally planned to show up late so I can get in some work for FCN done. I have yet to finish the script. Right now I'm trying to find the right words to make my perks sound convincing. Trying to raise $15,000+ is not easy. Why the "major-sigh"?  Because I became occupied, with discouraging thoughts. Fortunately  not about FCN work. 

I don't know if it is because I am a girl? Maybe that is why I get down on myself every now and then for the way I look, the way I carry myself, why I worry about what others think of me? Does my genetic code as a young girl ensue thoughts of insecurity on purpose to torture me? 

Let's admit, not being the "first" in any parts of any relationship doesn't make you feel so high and mighty. Firsts always mean something to someone and there's proof of it anytime they bring up the past. It doesn't feel good to know, for any girl or guy to hear the past relationships or friendships your significant other has had before you walked into the picture. I have always been insecure about how others view me and it has always held me back. At the end of the night, who can I call my truest and bestest friends? Probably two. Two that I know will always be there for me. But they have their own lives and although it may seem I have plenty of friends to turn to, I have very few people that I feel comfortable opening up around. I am not all that interesting and I blame my lack of adventure for holding me back. I am always fearing the repercussions and the moment I jump the gun, all comes crashing down..or a cop shows up. ..joke* What I mean is, when I do take a chance, whether the outcome may possibly entail good or bad consequences, I always end up getting in trouble for the slip I made. I can never do anything "bad" without getting caught; so I just give up meddling in risky business all together. That, and I have such a guilty conscious that I can't even sleep at night without tossing around my pillows and blankets to feel comfortable again.

Anyway..totally shifted gears...Well basically, in my current relationship and my past relationship, I've always had to adjust to the doubts of any lingering feelings that they may have held onto (not particularly ex-girlfriends,) but girl-friends. Claiming that it was a "crush"or "that was before" and the famous "it's not even like that....anymore". Is it because I've never had a crush on any of my close friends? Am I sorry that I have never once thought to be a possible homie-hopper? Sorry, but thas just not how I doo :P I thought that in my new relationship, I would never have to worry about those insecurities, but sadly...I am. The last girl was the sweetest, most popular and smartest girl in the school. She was the girl-next-door. LITERALLY. Practically lived right across the street. This time, not so much. I only met her once, but apparently, she is benevolent-hearted and just so happened to be the first girl who made in effort in talking to my once-extremely-shy (current) boyfriend. The other day, she texted him and a flush of past insecurities engulfed my body. I had this strange feeling that he once liked her, which he admitted. I definitely am not worried about her... surprisingly, she seems honest and I can trust that she would treat my boyfriend as a a friend and will not over-step her boundaries. That much, I know I can trust. With the last relationship ending in doubts and logged-in facebook messages with other girls, I couldn't help but questioning my trust for my new boyfriend. The girl is sweet, and after meeting her one time, I can't blame him if he'd make in effort in wanting to re-kindle a good friendship. I guess all I'm asking is that for once, I hope that I am good enough. I may not have an impact on every person in the group like she did, I may not have his friends having little crushes on me, it's just..for once, all I'm hoping for is that I am good enough.

No one should settle for less, but I myself, is all I can offer. I have this urge to up my game to compensate my jelly belly. Maybe a new hair-cut will do? Make-up perhaps? Fuck that actually, that's not me. I'll just keep chugging my choo-choo and I'm not stopping for no one. Okay, yes I will. I'll only stop for people who give me a reason to. Until then, I'm chugging. Just excuse the water ladies and gentlemen for the ride will be flooded with insecurities for a while. It won't be long and if you stay, I promise that it'll be clear down the track. 

seastar fued

I cry because I would rather confront the feelings I have than deny the feeling of pain. Why would I purposely numb myself and force myself not to cry? My sister has always been outspoken but don't get me wrong, I admire her for such a trait. However, I tell her that she has been hurt far too many times that mere situations or even situations that deserve a heartache, are things that she avoids all together.

I told her that I haven't seen an old best friend in a long time and she had promised to see me when she came back from a trip. Well, she has returned but I have yet to see her. Of course I am not hurt by that, it was just that I found it a bit funny when her best friend has been posting pictures of her and my ex. It seems they have been hanging all summer and my sister's right, I shouldn't be bothered by that at all; and I'm not. It was just last night, I was talking to my guy friend who happened to be my other friend's best friend's, ex-girlfriend. Since I am avoiding names here, I guess it'll make more sense if I say: both of our exes have been seeing each other. What I guess bothered me is that when I found out my ex was talking to other girls through private messages on facebook (the moment I instantly ended it), one of those girls...was her. Apparently, they had been going out on lunch dates and hanging out according to the messages but I never thought much of it at the time because, yes, she was a friend of mine too. It was no wonder he never put our relationship on his profile, it was most likely to continue hishangouts with these random girls, one girl including the one I have been talking about in particular. So her ex, or my guy friend was telling me about how he has been seeing her too a few times throughout the summer, although he saw them as dates and for her, mere hangouts.

So I told my sister how funny it was and she claimed that it shouldn't bother me anymore; "just be like whatever about it". And I said yea, I am. It's just that means that whole time my ex was messaging her, there was definitely something going on between the two of them, but because she's a friend of mine, I excused it. And my sister said "See, that's why you cry over stupid shit you shouldn't care about". One thing for sure was that I wasn't crying and that problem has happened such a long time ago, why would I still worry about it? It was just that moment of realization that she turned out to be one of the 3 girls who were talking to my ex when we were together.

The argument totally took a turn when my sister, like always, started to get really defensive saying that I cry all the time and that it's fucking stupid to worry about shit like that. I find it irritating when my sister resorts to words like that. She has numbed herself from all the hurt she received in the past that any other moment that deserves a good cry, is instantly denied. Doesn't matter if it's worth it. She says "that's why I don't trust anybody anymore; no one deserves my trust anymore because they do shit like that. I don't even expect anyone to do anything and I'm just not surprised if they end up hurting me". I told her that I had to disagree with her. We were no longer talking about exes, or trust...we were talking about my weakness. Anytime anyone ever disagrees with my sister, she gets so defensive and it's hard to talk to her. It is even harder when you have to put up with someone who you can see slowly turning into a bitter cold person by simply denying their right to cry.

'BOUT TO GO PHOKING WOLVERINE BEZERKER-RAGE RIGHT NAO.

you've cat to be kitten me right meow.

carnivore

Goodness, I hope I don't get sick from the rib-eye steak I ate today for my Papa's birthday dinner celebration. My stomach is starting to hurt..and so does my head /: I never was a big fan of "medium-rare". Ah, I hope it isn't "rare" to start feeling symptoms like this. I also took a sip of German white wine. :P blech..did I ever mention that I get nauseous even at the slightest whiff of alcohol? Me no feel gewd d;

random old post from unknown time

two diff earing
getting to prom by car
big whole in my pants
scab

Today was another interesting day. The weather was bipolar. At first it was extremely cold then it got burning hot during Track. Art was pretty fun. Lorraine came over and brought some strawrberry milano cookies and a camera. The whole time we were taking abunch of pictures and dancing to Fire by 2NE1.

bite the bullet

I think I'm going crazy. I really need help storing all the FCN stuff Al is passing down to me and it's really difficult when people are telling me that they "don't have room". That answer is understandable, but I don't have room either. I'm already holding onto so much stuff for FCN/E-Board that my parents want to start throwing it out. I don't know how much more I can take before they snap.

When I mentioned that we should possibly invest in a storage room, and that we may possibly have to pay $5 dollars each, I got no response. No one can help, or doesn't want to. 

My last hope is to contact them, personally. I just hate when I feel like I have to bother people.

Al's parents are bringing all the stuff down this Saturday, and on that very day, I have to take it off their hands. I just won't have anywhere to put it. This is one of the first tasks I have to do as FCN, and our first task as board. I wish it wasn't so hard. I really need people to just answer me, or at least bite the bullet with me. What scares me is in the long run, will I be able to rely on them? In the end, I'm scared that I'll have no one to to turn to on board, but my self. I'm probably just stressing over nothing..like I usually do. I'm sorry for ranting. I just need you to help me keep me sane.

On a happier note, I had a family dinner..with my whollle family. Mom, Papa, Kuya, Ate..everyone. We made rib-eye steak, cauliflower mash and zucchini. I actually enjoyed the steak (and this is coming from a meat-hater. lol.. My sister and I haven't been fighting lately. She's treating me out to Mitsuwa tomorrow when I come home from school. Then Tuesday, I'm going t Sprinkles with Jed. I miss the old times, but I'm happy to see it reappear again.