turn back the araw

The other day, I found out that my Dad went to the doctors last month because he complained that it has been hard for him to walk on the foot that he got surgery on years ago.

The other morning before my exam, I had the chance to eat breakfast with my parents for the first time in months. Something I rarely get to do. My Mom made fun of the way my Dad combed his hair as we ate pandesal and I noticed that my Dad's incredible WillSmithNonAgingPowers didn't stop his head from starting to bald. I never really noticed until now.

Today, both my parents checked into a clinic after being food poisoned from last night and now they're in bed holding on to their stomachs. They're hourly visits to the bathroom of hearing them vomit...it's hard to concentrate. It pains me to see my parents in pain and to realize they are getting older. 

It hurts that I am always at school and never at home these days. I try and do my best to make time for friends, loved ones, even family. It feels like I never have time to spend time...I guess I'm finding it hard to balance all my priorities a midst planning a school production, studying for exams, writing weekly papers and essays. This semester is demanding so much of me. So much of my time. I wish I can click pause. 

I realized that time shows no mercy and that it will stop for no one. It will keep going no matter what...

but I forget. I forget to do the laundry, to vacuum, to cook rice. I forget that I'm getting older, and so are my parents. I forget that the time I should be spending, should be with the ones whom I love most. But time does not permit me. Because I have already been drafted to allocate my time somewhere else. I see posts of people going out, hanging out. Watching movies on Sunday nights. Having more than one day to study for a test. I wish I can get a head start; time is just never on my side though.

If anything, I wish it could rewind itself and replay the best memories, over and over again. Turn back time. Change nothing that'll effect the future. Just indulge in the moments where I was so carefree. My parents so young. No exams to study for late night, early morning. I wish I can click pause. Just for a second to take a breath. To take a step back.

I feel like I'm running out of time these days. Do you?